The Comedians

Only the comedians could induce me to such depths of depravity. Only forces as omniscient and (seemingly) punitive as the Gods could drive me to drink unholy amounts of liquor and smoke myself into oblivion. And not my usual swanky beverages of choice - Anejo Tequila, multi distilled Vodka and unoaked Chardonnays. No no, the brink of madness the Comedians drove me to caused me to nonchalantly sample Vodkas named after Polish composers, branded by rap stars, distilled from wheat, rye, potato, grape and even hemp. Ok, I didn't taste the hemp vodka, but if anyone knows where I can find it please give me ring...

Who are these Comedians and why do they torment Rekha, you ask? Ah, fine question my friend. Caught in the midst of the chaos that is my life these days all I can say is in the spirit of hammering new nuances into my writer persona, I've been forced to endure despair, rejection, depression and that fine old friend - rage.

Which is why last night found me in the company of my lovely friend Mariana who never fails to bring insight in dark hours. Even better, who can throw back booze like no mans business and loves the puff of tobacco products. Who better to accompany me to a wine and cigar tasting? To Jamie's Restaurant in Lyndhurst we went. The cigarman - Tony Santana was nowhere to be found so we moisied to the tasting table. My buddy Ryan was pouring a provocatively named Shiraz by the moniker of Layer Cake Shiraz.

Now Ryan is one of the wine assistants at Shoppers Vineyard, my favorite local booze emporium. Favored by me for their off the beaten Napa path selection of wines and decently priced spirits. Even closer to my heart is the fact that this wine shop allows pets. I know it sounds bizarre but it works. When Duke was a wee puppy I would pop him into my canvas bag and carry him around everywhere. When hitting the wine shop I'd pop him into the shopping cart and wheel down the aisles in pursuit of the perfect libation to accompany my latest dining creation. Now the wine assistants at this store are a convivial bunch, not over-pressured from sale quotas or domineering overlord managers. Upon spotting the dog in the cart, they'd relieve me of my Dog Mom duties and play with the pup till I was done shopping.

So here it was, years later. The dog stretched out on the couch at home and me being poured a tasting of an Australian Shiraz by Ryan, one of the guys. Small world, even my Comedian oppressed brain could appreciate the moment. The wine was poured and tasted, found to be deliciously deep-berried without harsh spice. Best of all, it finished with a flicker of dark chocolate. Gimme a case of that, baby.

By this time the cigarman - Tony shows up. Tony and his promoter - Rob Menaker do an upscale combo of cigar + beverage tasting once a month. Tony knows his stuff, descending from a proud line of Cuban and Mexican cigar makers. He swung into his demo of handrolling a cigar. The purity of tobacco based on location or terroir, just as important with tobacco as it is with the grape. Then Tony really got rolling, or dipping to be precise. Apparently Latinos of European and American descent have honored the art of dipping cigars in brandy to sweeten and compliment the leafy bouquet. Tony shared his family secret which involves soaking branding in a snifter of honey, then dipping the cigar in the mixture. It sounds sexy & decadent and tastes even better. Even the menfolk present - a macho handful of Italian-something guys who looked like they enjoy a weekly puff at Uncle Primo's house - got a kick out of the honeyed cigars.

Rob the promoter sidles next to me and hands a freshly dipped cigar with a flourish. "My compliments darling," He says. "Just do me a favor, smoke it in front of me." Glad Rob, gladly. Which is why hours later Mariana and I have chuffed down the whole freaking cigar. One each. Accompanied of course by glasses of the excellent wine. I could feel the Comedian yoke levitating off my body for a few breaths. Either that or I was blacking out from the heavy smoke. My friend Mariana, having no such burden to bear was displaying her comely left foot to a few men, at their request. She is voluptuous, flirtatious. All woman. I am heartened by our time fraternizing with friendly albeit aggressive men. (Yo, if I wanted to fly to Las Vegas for dinner I would!) By the chocolate-tinged wine - what will I make to bring out that note?! By the astoundingly unctuous lamb ravioli tricked out with slivers of mint in a demi glace. Or perhaps I'm just tongue dead and suffocated by smoking an entire Robusto in one shot.

In any case, for a few hours I forget about the Comedians.