To sleep perchance to walk upright

Sometimes a good night's sleep is better than sex. Sometimes you crave sleep more than sex. Ever happened to you? It's been happening to me especially since I threw my back out. If you don't miss someone till they're gone, then I firmly believe you don't appreciate what you have till you can't use it anymore. Case in point the ability to walk upright. Never thought much of it since I mastered the ability to walk as a wee lass. Not until I compacted a few thoracic disks from lifting a heavy garage door. My back seizes up and I can't seem to walk upright. I try to stand tall but both back and hip seem locked in an abnormal position. And it isn't a pretty one.

Chiropractic helps, as does my stiff office chair. Sleep does not, which is odd since I look so foward to resting my aching back and stressed out legs. But sleep evades me like a boyfriend after boy's night out. I begin to realize I feel better OUT of bed than in it. Forsoothe! The luxurious sanctuary of my bedroom has begun to bring agitation rather than pleasure. I begin fantasizing about falling into a deep sleep, my back restoring itself after 8 hours of healing torpor.

Then I make a decision. I'm giving up my pillowtop Vera Wang Serta mattress for a firmer, more back friendly posturpedic. Yup, I've swapped comfort and indulgence for, well, a healthy back. To anyone I ever mocked for sleeping on a firm bed, I humbly rescind my words. A firm bed is the bomb! for my back, that is.

So now that my back is back, I'm back to thinking of better things, like sex...

The kiss that shocked India and aggravated everyone else

I am a bit embarassed by the ceaseless publicity following Richard Gere's kiss to Shilpa Shetty. The sad part is the incident was borne from a good cause. A very good cause in India. Gere and Shetty (UK's winner of the reality show Celebrity Big Brother) were appearing at an AIDs awareness rally in front of New Delhi truck drivers. While he dipped her, ala a scene from Shall We Dance, he planted a kiss on her cheek, mind you! Now several things come into play here. Apparently Indian lorry drivers are notorious for their sexual promiscuity, ergo the AIDs awareness campaign. Secondly, for those of you unfamiliar with India and her sexual deportment rules, kissing is not allowed in public. This means no smooching in movies, on TV or by the general public. Now I can attest to the fact that I have indeed kissed my male relatives in public in India. My grandfather, my uncles and so on. Of course I did not dip them but how would you expect a 5 foot 2 girl do manage such a feat? And let me tell you, I did NOT get hauled into the local precinct for indecent behavior.

Gere hasn't fared as well. He has officially been charged indecent public conduct under sections 292, 293 and 294 of Indian penal code. If found guilty he could face up to 6 years of imprisonment. And the recipient of the kiss? She's under a restraining order. You know this makes me wonder how slow the Indian news scene must be faring at this time. Nothing better to feed on than this? Given the public's lust for celebrity-related news, makes me think we should harness this phenomenon. Sales from news such as this should be donated to dire causes that never seem to generate such fervor - such as AIDs, protecting farmland and rain forests, curtailing urban sprawl and combatting global warming. And to the land that hosts over a billion citizens? To a land that's over populated from what guess what? Sex. To the land that gave the world its most treasured sex manual of all time, the Kama Sutra. Shame on you.