Don't Let Your Sun Go Down on Me.

Hugely amused these days by the Jimmy Dean breakfast commercials. Can't help but being tickled by the portrayal of galactic powerhouses played by intentionally weak and sissified humans.

The premise of each commercial is the Sun, channeled by an Opie-reminiscent actor, boosting his fellow planets and other atmospheric entities through their cycles via the fuel only a Jimmy Dean breakfast can provide. The Rainbow lacks color, the Moon is crescent when he should be full. Fog is surly and clouds up the kitchenette.

The most recent ad is clutch-your-stomach hilarious. Setting: gray carpeted office. The sun stands proudly amidst the galaxy. The planets totter & stumble through their eliptical cycle as if drunken or in a weakened stupor.

Mars, the warrior planet is played by balding man who lists his rotund crimson belly off it's epicenter. Now we know Mars is volatile and was prone to volcanic activity, however we're pretty sure it never tumbled off it's planetary axis. This Mars does and rolls onto his so-not-warrior ass.

Neptune, a kindly looking guy-next-door, resplendant in his light blue sphere streaked with ribbons of white, bumps into a table and skids to the floor. Accordingly to astrology Neptune represents spirituality, mysticism, and ideals. Neptune also covers the misfits of society. Ah, say no more.

Jupiter, second only to the Sun in galatic and astrological fire power, stands in the corner facing a wall.

Of the planets, only Earth and Venus are cast as women. Venus hugs a potted plant. Not quite what you would expect from the planet of Love and Beauty. While Earth looks confused and stalled in her rotation.

My favorite is the avuncular actor portraying Mercury. Barely 5 feet tall, the guy looks like an uncle I might meet at a Church meeting rather than the messenger of the Gods on feather light wings.

Of course it all turns out well. The sun feeds his cronies a breakfast sandwich and as quick as you can say Gravitational Pull the planets are right as rain.

I'm so glad the folks at Jimmy Dean are sticking to simple planetary events. Imagine their re-enactment of Black Hole Sun or Saturn Return?

View it.