Growing up with Puritan-minded parents taught me frugality and self denial. This manifested itself in many ways; always buying discounted clothing, 2nd hand cars instead of flashy new models, recycling items like computers and handbags long after they outlived their usefulness.
This also effected one area of my life that mattered most. Food. Due to my Dad's curious combination of spend thriftiness and a dislike of non Indian food, we never ate out. Dad reasoned "Why spend money on food that doesn't satisfy me when I can eat good food at home?" Thus my childhood and adolescence were deprived of dinners at upscale venues and even family style restaurants.
Unlike my parents neither my brother nor I shared their distaste for eating out. And to this day we think nothing of plopping into a neighborhood eatery or pub. Matter of fact, I love it. I count the month lost when I have not discovered a gem of a joint that serves a dish spectacularly well. Or a restaurant that has an aura and food that thrill my soul and stomach.
Still I do feel nudgings of guilt when I eat out instead of cooking just bought groceries. Must be my upbringing.
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A lot of us were raised in what I call Puritanical families where pleasure was a "sin" and self denial was encouraged. Although eating food should be one of life's greatest pleasures, our parents denied themselves that gift and lived with that eternal sacrifice saying it was not an "economical" thing to do.
Subconsciously, I wonder if there isn't "servitude" issue to go with the "puritanical" issue. Being waited on is not something they would have been uncomfortable with. At different times in this country different immigrants were the "lower class" and usually had the jobs of waitressing and other forms of unskilled labor. Perhaps there is a stigma about it for them and a reminder of their origins.
For many of us, eating out is not only a pleasure, but a convenience. Our mothers, whether they stayed home or worked outside came home and cooked a meal out of love and obligation. I'd rather show my love a different way. By not cooking, I save time and can then enjoy the pleasure of my family's company over a leisurely eaten meal. To eat out with friends is one of the ultimate joys in life. Sharing good food with good friends is truly a gift in our lives to be treasured and enjoyed.
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