Perhaps it's the lunar eclipse that occurs tonight or the wacky rain-drenching, downright chilly weather in August! (Can you say Global Warming George? It's easier than Camus.) Whatever the cause I haven't been able to sleep at night. So in an attempt to lull myself into a somnolent state of boredom I've been checking out late night TV, which, with the exception of the Daily Show and Animal Planet suck so bad I'm jolted awake. Thank God for the Animal Planet (and Discovery Channel) for being my savior lately with some extraordinary shows.
Saturday night they aired an awesome combo of animal responses to the South East Asian Tsunami and the migration of a tribe of elephants led by the matriarch. Nuff said there. The tsunami show was remarkable, demonstrating that yes indeedy, animals are smarter than humans. Ok, ok, at least they are more attuned to the earth than we moronic humanoids, who apparently are the idjits of our green planet. One segment showed how monkeys ran for higher ground, followed by the smarter folks who realized something was underfoot. Another segment portrayed a baby elephant rescuing a young girl from the beach minutes before it became inundated with a wall of water. She returned a year later to spend time with her rescuer who recognized her immediately. Girlfriends are like that.
While those familiar with Sci Fi dame Anne MacCaffrey know the deep history between dolphins and man, however the divers off the coast of Indonesia were astounded when dolphins came to their rescue underwater during the tsunami. The survivors claimed that the dolphins tried to keep them afloat and divert them into safer waters. Not all animals in the water fared well. Much of the rare green tortoise egg population was drowned and washed away, much to the heartbreak of their caretaker, a local man who spends his life devoted to the creatures. He has apparently spent $500,000 of his own money nesting, incubating, feeding and raising sea turtles. Some people spend that amount on far less worthy causes, like Prada bags or James Blount CDs.
While my insomnia continued I was able to catch one more breathtaking show. It was called Free Diver. I'd seen a commercial for it and assumed it was a fruity attempt to show off some chick in a really tight silver wetsuit. Ok, so it does that too but the best part is what she does. Tanya Street not only wears tight silver wetsuits but is a world-record holding free diver. While this alone is not enough to warrant a TV show on the Animal Planet, (I mean if this were enough I'd have a show with my dog Duke called the Jack Russells of Passaic Park, NJ) what is cause for merit is the woman's courage and fascination with underwater creatures. Donning her wetsuit and nose gear that makes her look like a Los Angeles Laker, she dives into a given body of water, this time in the Galapagos, cavorting with drakes, penguins and seals. The drakes swim half submerged in water, kick their beaks into the air and dive for fish and yummy algae-like thingies. This guy in particular tolerated her presence, but in truth preferred his solo hunting. Now the penguins were just darling. After one dive she exclaimed, "aren't they just the cutest?" And they sure were, shooting through the water with such agility that makes up for their lamentable land skills. I mean, short flightless aquatic birds are no joke in the water. Too bad Opus never got to strut his stuff on Bloom County. Then they bobbed like a curious flock around her on the surface of the water. You know what I would have done? I would have grabbed one of the dumpling penguins and run off home with him. He'd learn to like my bathtub and play with Duke, eventually. The final swim sequence involved the most remarkable swimmers - seals. Tanya, really, the girl has no fear - broke into a group of them and just hung around. Hey guys, wanna play? And they did. They swooped near her, rolled over in very agile underwater somersaults that she emulated. Then they began bringing her shells, which she studiously accepted and then threw for them to retrieve. Tell me this: if a seal can learn to retrieve, why can't a president learn how to listen?
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